...can't sleep

I've been wide-awake for half an hour now and I still can't go back to sleep.

Ang astig ng Detective Conan. I've watched movies 1-7 last Sunday. Wooh, movie marathon. The best ung third movie for me.

Play na mamaya, Romeo and Juliet. Baka last play ever in my life na rin ito.

Why does everything have to be the last this time?

Naisip ko lang. Bakit ganito ang buhay? Do we really have to grow up and grow past all the things that we've been used to? Mystery pa rin sa akin kung bakit kailangan mangyari lahat ito. Why is it na kung kelan at-home na ako sa isang bagay, bigla na lang kailanan mag-end un.

Okay, ang emo na naman. Being alone would really make you think of such things.

I had a lot of realizations going on in my head. Ung iba obvious, ung iba hindi ko pa rin gets hanggang ngayon. Pero that's life, you can't have everything you want, and you can't have it all at once. Siguro un din ung reason why we have to grow up. Kung titigil na lang tayo, then all our questions won't be answered. Sinagot ko rin sarili kong question.

But then, why does everything have to be the last this time nga? Well, baka naman hindi kailangan maging last ang lahat. Hindi maiiwasan ung mga last plays, last periodic exams, last class, last quiz. Pero pwede pa naman magkaroon ng iba pang meeting, outing, party, pagkikita, pag-uusap, bonding, whatevers. Maybe hindi na nga sa Pisay, pero what matters is ung people involved right? Hindi kailangan maging huli ang lahat. Siguro yan na rin ung isang reason why we have to grow past the things we have now and move on to the next level.

Everything happens for a reason. There is no coincidental meeting, and may dahilan kung bakit ikaw at sila ang mga nakilala ko.

This too shall pass. It's just a matter of time kung kailan matatapos ang mga bagay-bagay. Whether it's a happy moment or a sad one, it will all end. That is how life goes.

...live your life

Just finished painting. Ung hands ko, marami pa rin paint marks. Ung jeans ko rin. Howell. Masaya naman. May legacy na ako sa Pisay. Hahah. Wooh, viscom. Kahit demanding ung requirements, I had fun naman. Ito pala ung sinasabi nila na kahit gaano kahirap, kung gusto mo naman, masaya pa rin. Totoo pala un. Hahah.

Well, kahit hindi maganda ung work ko, proud pa rin ako. Na-realize ko rin pala na beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. Sino pa ba mag-aapreciate ng work mo kung hindi ikaw rin, right.

So ayun. And kaya 'live your life' ung message ko sa mga next batches na dadaan sa Pisay, kasi life is just one short adventure, kaya kailangan na i-enjoy. Carpe diem! Sabi nga sa Detective Conan episode 556, ...if you let  stressful things consume you, 'you'll find yourself unable to behold the beautiful sights right before your eyes'. Ayun, na-inspire ako. So, 'live your life' na naging message ko sa lower batches.

Hayy. Ayun. I need to wash na kasi and dusty at colorful ko talaga. Hahah.

...a final note from Serway

Yes. Serway. As in author ng Physics book natin. But before that, i want to recall the things that happened to me this day.

Last day of perio today. Woot. Happiness.

Picture taking din with Sir Duli and Mam Chups. Woot. Charm love. Hahah.

CAT creative marching. Funny, super.

STRessed even after exams. The reason is pretty obvious.

Viscom tomorrow.

Few days remaining. So little time, so many things left to do.

A very random post.

Anyways. Who would have thought na may lessons in life din pala ang Physics sa atin. If you are one of those na laging nagbabasa ng Physics nina Serway at Beichner, then you might have come across this already. Pero for some who don't, here it is.


~~~
The Meaning of Success


To earn the respect of intelligent people and to win the affection of children;
To appreciate the beauty of nature and all that surrounds us;
To seek out and nurture the best in others;
To give the gift of yourself to others without the slightest thought of return, for it is in giving that we receive;
To have accomplished a task, whether it be saving a lost soul, healing a sick child, writing a book, or risking your life for a friend;
To have celebrated and laughed with great joy and enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
To have hope even in times of despair, for as long as you have hope, you have life;
To love and be loved;
To be understood and understand;
To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is the meaning of success.


Ralph Waldo Emerson
Modified by Serway, December 1989
~~~


Amazing. And yes, galing 'yan sa Physics book.

...a not-so-emo post

"...So I sing this song to all my age. For these are the questions we've got to face. For in this cycle that we call life, we are the ones who are next in line.."

This song meant nothing to me until that last Econ class, when Sir Vlad made me realize that we really are next in line. The future is slowly putting the responsibility to us, and there are still a lot more challenges waiting. I still can't conceive that in a few days, I would be walking out of the gates of Pisay, and that my official days here will soon be over.

Who would have thought that I'd actually say I will miss Pisay. Who would have thought that I'd come to love this school that gave me so much worries.

I can't believe all this will be over in a few days.

...emo?

Well, I have this feeling na wala na nagbabasa ng blog ko, so yhey! If ever na may mapadaan dito, I suggest you go on with your lives and not bother reading the rest of my blog, since I doubt na may mapapala kayo from here.

Anyways, I’m so bored. I’m alone in my room, and as usual, kapag mag-isa ako, may malaking tendency na magpaka-emo ako. So yeah. I randomly made a ‘poem’ out of nowhere. So here it goes...

_____

sitting alone in a bench

i got myself thinking

why this world's so crazy

how life makes me dizzy

and figured out the reason pretty late

it's more than just an ordinary thursday

when i was still having fun that morning

i entered the room, i saw you smiling

i smiled back only to take it back so soon

realizing that it wasn't really meant for me

afternoon came, you were telling stories

you said that you were happy

'coz you finally found the girl of your dreams

you said you know you love her

and it broke my heart to know it wasn't me

what else in the world can i do

when the only thing left for me

is accept the truth, the hard cold fact

that the only way to see you smile again

is to see you both laughing together

_____

Okay. Ang emo niya. The truth is, hindi ko alam kung saan galing yan. Hindi naman ‘yan out of personal experience. Magaling lang siguro ako mag-imagine ng random scenes, plus with the help of Taylor Swift (hahah, Invisible). Pero yuck, hindi ako emo, as in no way.

Na-realize ko lang. Ang bobo ng poem. After re-reading it, hindi ko na gets. Pero, howell. Hahah. :))

...randomly posted post

wala lang.

nabasa ko blog ni hanna, so naalala ko blog ko. it's been about six months since my last post.

in less than three months, we'll be graduating. although excited na ako na makaalis sa pisay (wooh, wala na str!), i'm definitely sure na mami-miss ko pisay. promise.

anyways. ymsat na next week. so kelangan pumasok tomorrow para sa set-up and stuff. hayy, wala na naman akong saturday rest day. pero ayos na rin. more bonding time naman with friends.

speaking of bonding time, hindi na ako masyadong nasa-sad ngayon sa thought na magkakahiwalay na kami sa college. kasi meant to be talaga kami nina lc at hanna. chem eng sa diliman kaming tatlo. thank you sa draw lots. tapos, mukha namang wala talagang iwanan kami-kaming magkakaibigan. so yhey! syempre, thank you din kay Lord. so yeah, happiness.

hayy. kelangan pa gumawa ng str poster. asar, kakabago namin ng project just this monday, so super cramming kami sa paghabol ng papers and stuff. STRessful talaga. tapos for this week, laging masama pakiramdam ko. yesterday nga, nakatulog na ako sa comsci tapos paggising ko, ang sakit talaga ng ulo ko, and feeling ko magf-faint na ako noon. buti na lang may mabuting taong naglibre sa akin ng cup noodles sa caf. pero after english, sumakit na naman ulo ko. pero hindi rin ako nakapag-rest kasi kelangan mag-aral for chem long test at math long test na nangyari ngayon. plus, ung str stuff para sa poster, ginawa ko rin. so hardcore headache ako kaninang umaga. feeling ko, hindi maganda performance ko sa mga tests todays. hayy.

wah, card day na bukas. although hindi na ako kinakabahan or what kasi i saw my grades na nung wednesday. thank God dahil wala akong fail grade. tumaas naman relatively gwa ko, pero mababa pa rin, as in mababa talaga.

howell. wow, napahaba yata entry ko. nakaka-miss din pala na mag-type out ng rants and stuff. pero kelangan ko pa tapusin str poster contents namin. so, bye bye na ulit for now.

...lol

Wala lang.

Just happen to pass by.

Walang class for two weeks. Hu-wow. Amazing.

Un lang. :)

...major ranting on random things

Uh...

Ewan ko kung bakit uli ako nagpost dito. Naghahanap lang gagawin.

Actually, I should be working on my balance toy. Pero ang sakit talaga ng katawan ko, tapos nagpush-ups and stuff pa sa PE, kayo mas lalong lumala.

Hayy.. May nalaman akong medyo madaming things today, pero syempre, I won't tell.

Grabe. Naglalabas lang siguro ako ng sama ng loob from everything na nangyari. Actually, hindi ko alam kung ano talaga main reason ng sama ng loob ko. Wait, actually, hindo ko alam kung sama ng loob talaga. Feeling ko, parang badtrip lang ng kunti kasi ung mga requirements. Pero, oh well. Walang trials na hindi mo malalampasan. Yheh! :)

May isa akong wish talaga na gusto kong matupad, pero medyo selfish siya. So totoo, dalawa, pero malabo talaga mangyari ung isa. Unless, biglang mag-iba ihip ng hangin... Nevermind. Ang labo ko talaga.

Grabe. Ang hirap talaga gumalaw. Feeling ko, nagkacrunches pa rin ako sa sobrang sakit everytime na gagalaw ako.

Gusto ko na ayaw kong pumasok bukas. Ayaw ko kasi duh, ayaw ko na muna mag-aral. Gusto ko kasi, ewan ko. Pero may weird thing na nagsasabi na I want to go to school tomorrow. Hayy, kung wala lang kasing Physics diba...
:)

...If only there's a magical way to make imaginations real...

Nakakainis minsan. Pero ayaw ko na mainis. I mean, ang boring naman siguro ng life kung laging andyan na lang ang happiness at wala ng iba. Magiging corny at repetitive na lang life natin diba. Wala ka nang aabangan, wala ka nang paghihirapan, kasi diba, masaya na lagi. Kaya nakakaboring din ung life na ganun. Hayy, anu ba naman sinasabi ko?

Pero. Basta. Kasi ayaw ko talaga mainis, lalo na sa isang tao. Ewan ko. Pero ayaw ko talaga. Hindi kinakaya ng conscience ko siguro kapag may nakaaway ako. Hahah. Ang labo ko talaga. Kung saan-saan na ako nakarating.

Woah. Ang haba na pala ng post ko. Yeh, so obviuosly, super random post lang nito. Kasi nga, wala akong magawa. :)

Grabe. Gusto ko lang talagang mag-rant at mag-rant dito. Wala kasi ako makausap ngayon e. Okay na rin un. Habang 'nag-iisip' ng design para sa balance toy. Feeling ko, bukas na rin ako gagawa. Hahah.

So yeh. Life. Ewan ko. Naguguluhan nga ako sa buhay ko e. Hindi ko alam kung anu ba dapat gawin ko. Syempre, priority pa rin studies (kahit ayaw ko talaga minsan), pero after that, hindi ko na alam gagawin sa buhay ko. Well syempre, before all of that, si Lord muna, tapos family and friends. Tapos ung goals ko na nga sa buhay na hindi ko pa rin alam hanggang ngayon.

Naalala ko tuloy ung sinabi ni Sir Chuckie dati. Hahah.. Pero aside from becoming a doctor, childhood dream ko din ang maging astronaut. Wala lang. Astig kaya. Or dahil medyo madali akong mahilo, kahit controllers lang sa NASA or kahit saang astronomical whatever place. Ang gulo ko talaga.

Hayy. Anu pa ba. Sige iisa-isahin ko na lang aspects ko sa life.

Physical? Hayy. Masakit pa rin katawan ko. Especially sa legs at neck part. Pero pumayat daw ako ng super liit accdg dun sa apparatus sa PE. Ewan. Hayy, grabe. Minsan naiinis ako kasi wala akong special athletic capabilities. Seryoso. Hayy. Masasabi ko lang na flexible ako, pero kunti lang. Syempre, may mas flexible sa akin diba. Sa mental. Baliw ako. Autistic. Hindi matino most of the time. Ewan. Pero seryoso, baliw ako, at autistic. Hahah. Spiritually, un na siguro pinakamatino sa akin. Well, for me, I can say I'm growing in this aspect. Socially? Grabe, I'm NOT emo. Asa naman. Takot nga ako sa blade at sharp objects eh. Anu pa ba?

Uh, tapos. Ewan. Wala pa rin akong naiisip na balance toy. Anu ba yan?!

Longest post ever ko na yata ito. Oh well...

Hindi ko talaga maintindihan sarili ko. Ewan.

Ah, ito na lang. Mga changes na nangyari sa life ko nung pumasok ako sa pisay, good and bad...
-marunong na ako magcram
-dumami kilala ko.. duh, lahat naman eh..
-natuto akong magmura, and now I'm trying hard na hindi na magmura uli.
-alam ko na magpuyat, like 3hours sleep lang talaga
-natuwa in some way sa high school life
-naging autistic
-nakasira ng project ng higher year.. (heheh, kuya gian dapul and group's art project)
-mas nagiging close kay God
-natutong mag-walkout kapag 11 minutes late ung teacher
-may stipends every month.. extra credits..
-natutong magthermochemistry at projectile motion (yuk naman!)
-and so on...

Ang dami e. Grabe. Ayaw ko maging sentimental ngayon. Anyways.

Tama na nga. Baka sa sobrang walang maisip, madouble ko pa ung haba nito.

:)

...wala lang

Yeh. Wala lang. Ang tagal kasi magload.

Bye bye uli.

Autistic.

...to be forgotten

Since this blog is required no more, I won't be using it as often as I did before. So, a bye-bye for now.

Ohww, life.