...emo?

Well, I have this feeling na wala na nagbabasa ng blog ko, so yhey! If ever na may mapadaan dito, I suggest you go on with your lives and not bother reading the rest of my blog, since I doubt na may mapapala kayo from here.

Anyways, I’m so bored. I’m alone in my room, and as usual, kapag mag-isa ako, may malaking tendency na magpaka-emo ako. So yeah. I randomly made a ‘poem’ out of nowhere. So here it goes...

_____

sitting alone in a bench

i got myself thinking

why this world's so crazy

how life makes me dizzy

and figured out the reason pretty late

it's more than just an ordinary thursday

when i was still having fun that morning

i entered the room, i saw you smiling

i smiled back only to take it back so soon

realizing that it wasn't really meant for me

afternoon came, you were telling stories

you said that you were happy

'coz you finally found the girl of your dreams

you said you know you love her

and it broke my heart to know it wasn't me

what else in the world can i do

when the only thing left for me

is accept the truth, the hard cold fact

that the only way to see you smile again

is to see you both laughing together

_____

Okay. Ang emo niya. The truth is, hindi ko alam kung saan galing yan. Hindi naman ‘yan out of personal experience. Magaling lang siguro ako mag-imagine ng random scenes, plus with the help of Taylor Swift (hahah, Invisible). Pero yuck, hindi ako emo, as in no way.

Na-realize ko lang. Ang bobo ng poem. After re-reading it, hindi ko na gets. Pero, howell. Hahah. :))

...randomly posted post

wala lang.

nabasa ko blog ni hanna, so naalala ko blog ko. it's been about six months since my last post.

in less than three months, we'll be graduating. although excited na ako na makaalis sa pisay (wooh, wala na str!), i'm definitely sure na mami-miss ko pisay. promise.

anyways. ymsat na next week. so kelangan pumasok tomorrow para sa set-up and stuff. hayy, wala na naman akong saturday rest day. pero ayos na rin. more bonding time naman with friends.

speaking of bonding time, hindi na ako masyadong nasa-sad ngayon sa thought na magkakahiwalay na kami sa college. kasi meant to be talaga kami nina lc at hanna. chem eng sa diliman kaming tatlo. thank you sa draw lots. tapos, mukha namang wala talagang iwanan kami-kaming magkakaibigan. so yhey! syempre, thank you din kay Lord. so yeah, happiness.

hayy. kelangan pa gumawa ng str poster. asar, kakabago namin ng project just this monday, so super cramming kami sa paghabol ng papers and stuff. STRessful talaga. tapos for this week, laging masama pakiramdam ko. yesterday nga, nakatulog na ako sa comsci tapos paggising ko, ang sakit talaga ng ulo ko, and feeling ko magf-faint na ako noon. buti na lang may mabuting taong naglibre sa akin ng cup noodles sa caf. pero after english, sumakit na naman ulo ko. pero hindi rin ako nakapag-rest kasi kelangan mag-aral for chem long test at math long test na nangyari ngayon. plus, ung str stuff para sa poster, ginawa ko rin. so hardcore headache ako kaninang umaga. feeling ko, hindi maganda performance ko sa mga tests todays. hayy.

wah, card day na bukas. although hindi na ako kinakabahan or what kasi i saw my grades na nung wednesday. thank God dahil wala akong fail grade. tumaas naman relatively gwa ko, pero mababa pa rin, as in mababa talaga.

howell. wow, napahaba yata entry ko. nakaka-miss din pala na mag-type out ng rants and stuff. pero kelangan ko pa tapusin str poster contents namin. so, bye bye na ulit for now.

...lol

Wala lang.

Just happen to pass by.

Walang class for two weeks. Hu-wow. Amazing.

Un lang. :)

...major ranting on random things

Uh...

Ewan ko kung bakit uli ako nagpost dito. Naghahanap lang gagawin.

Actually, I should be working on my balance toy. Pero ang sakit talaga ng katawan ko, tapos nagpush-ups and stuff pa sa PE, kayo mas lalong lumala.

Hayy.. May nalaman akong medyo madaming things today, pero syempre, I won't tell.

Grabe. Naglalabas lang siguro ako ng sama ng loob from everything na nangyari. Actually, hindi ko alam kung ano talaga main reason ng sama ng loob ko. Wait, actually, hindo ko alam kung sama ng loob talaga. Feeling ko, parang badtrip lang ng kunti kasi ung mga requirements. Pero, oh well. Walang trials na hindi mo malalampasan. Yheh! :)

May isa akong wish talaga na gusto kong matupad, pero medyo selfish siya. So totoo, dalawa, pero malabo talaga mangyari ung isa. Unless, biglang mag-iba ihip ng hangin... Nevermind. Ang labo ko talaga.

Grabe. Ang hirap talaga gumalaw. Feeling ko, nagkacrunches pa rin ako sa sobrang sakit everytime na gagalaw ako.

Gusto ko na ayaw kong pumasok bukas. Ayaw ko kasi duh, ayaw ko na muna mag-aral. Gusto ko kasi, ewan ko. Pero may weird thing na nagsasabi na I want to go to school tomorrow. Hayy, kung wala lang kasing Physics diba...
:)

...If only there's a magical way to make imaginations real...

Nakakainis minsan. Pero ayaw ko na mainis. I mean, ang boring naman siguro ng life kung laging andyan na lang ang happiness at wala ng iba. Magiging corny at repetitive na lang life natin diba. Wala ka nang aabangan, wala ka nang paghihirapan, kasi diba, masaya na lagi. Kaya nakakaboring din ung life na ganun. Hayy, anu ba naman sinasabi ko?

Pero. Basta. Kasi ayaw ko talaga mainis, lalo na sa isang tao. Ewan ko. Pero ayaw ko talaga. Hindi kinakaya ng conscience ko siguro kapag may nakaaway ako. Hahah. Ang labo ko talaga. Kung saan-saan na ako nakarating.

Woah. Ang haba na pala ng post ko. Yeh, so obviuosly, super random post lang nito. Kasi nga, wala akong magawa. :)

Grabe. Gusto ko lang talagang mag-rant at mag-rant dito. Wala kasi ako makausap ngayon e. Okay na rin un. Habang 'nag-iisip' ng design para sa balance toy. Feeling ko, bukas na rin ako gagawa. Hahah.

So yeh. Life. Ewan ko. Naguguluhan nga ako sa buhay ko e. Hindi ko alam kung anu ba dapat gawin ko. Syempre, priority pa rin studies (kahit ayaw ko talaga minsan), pero after that, hindi ko na alam gagawin sa buhay ko. Well syempre, before all of that, si Lord muna, tapos family and friends. Tapos ung goals ko na nga sa buhay na hindi ko pa rin alam hanggang ngayon.

Naalala ko tuloy ung sinabi ni Sir Chuckie dati. Hahah.. Pero aside from becoming a doctor, childhood dream ko din ang maging astronaut. Wala lang. Astig kaya. Or dahil medyo madali akong mahilo, kahit controllers lang sa NASA or kahit saang astronomical whatever place. Ang gulo ko talaga.

Hayy. Anu pa ba. Sige iisa-isahin ko na lang aspects ko sa life.

Physical? Hayy. Masakit pa rin katawan ko. Especially sa legs at neck part. Pero pumayat daw ako ng super liit accdg dun sa apparatus sa PE. Ewan. Hayy, grabe. Minsan naiinis ako kasi wala akong special athletic capabilities. Seryoso. Hayy. Masasabi ko lang na flexible ako, pero kunti lang. Syempre, may mas flexible sa akin diba. Sa mental. Baliw ako. Autistic. Hindi matino most of the time. Ewan. Pero seryoso, baliw ako, at autistic. Hahah. Spiritually, un na siguro pinakamatino sa akin. Well, for me, I can say I'm growing in this aspect. Socially? Grabe, I'm NOT emo. Asa naman. Takot nga ako sa blade at sharp objects eh. Anu pa ba?

Uh, tapos. Ewan. Wala pa rin akong naiisip na balance toy. Anu ba yan?!

Longest post ever ko na yata ito. Oh well...

Hindi ko talaga maintindihan sarili ko. Ewan.

Ah, ito na lang. Mga changes na nangyari sa life ko nung pumasok ako sa pisay, good and bad...
-marunong na ako magcram
-dumami kilala ko.. duh, lahat naman eh..
-natuto akong magmura, and now I'm trying hard na hindi na magmura uli.
-alam ko na magpuyat, like 3hours sleep lang talaga
-natuwa in some way sa high school life
-naging autistic
-nakasira ng project ng higher year.. (heheh, kuya gian dapul and group's art project)
-mas nagiging close kay God
-natutong mag-walkout kapag 11 minutes late ung teacher
-may stipends every month.. extra credits..
-natutong magthermochemistry at projectile motion (yuk naman!)
-and so on...

Ang dami e. Grabe. Ayaw ko maging sentimental ngayon. Anyways.

Tama na nga. Baka sa sobrang walang maisip, madouble ko pa ung haba nito.

:)

...wala lang

Yeh. Wala lang. Ang tagal kasi magload.

Bye bye uli.

Autistic.

...to be forgotten

Since this blog is required no more, I won't be using it as often as I did before. So, a bye-bye for now.

Ohww, life.

...ILY thy kingdom camia! hahah. lol.

Yhey. I just finished English. My ending for In a Grove was okay-okay but my Zen reflections are kinda sucky. I just have to do STR tomorrow morning then study for Chem long test.

Super saya ko kanina kasi we had a Camia-dormers-plus-Sir-Mardan-dinner na three persons lang naman yata kumain. Grabe. Super nakakamiss ang Camia (corny pa rin). I wish matuloy ung Camia Christmas party next Friday para naman maka-party din ako kasi exchange gift lang meron sa Potassium. *cross fingers* Rar. Super na-miss ko talaga Camia. Wah, sana second year na lang muna uli. lol. Pero seriously, kahit walang masyadong nangyari and kahit almost one third lang ng Camia andun, masaya na siya for me kasi I feel the Camia-thing na naman. We were supposed to play Mafia pero well, hindi naman natuloy kasi hindi lahat nagclo-close ng eyes (as usual). Hahah. Frustration yata ni Sir Mardan na makalaro kami ng matinong Mafia.

Pero un. Nakakamiss talaga. ILY Camia2010! lol.

...when every single day is loaded with a lot of (long) tests

Rar. So many requirements loaded in less than two weeks. I feel a bit down and tired. So I grabbed the Bible, prayed for some help, and opened it. And here's the very first thing I saw...

__________________________
A Prayer for Help

From the depths of my despair
I call to you, Lord.
Hear my cry, O Lord;
listen to my call for help!
If you keep a record of our sins,
who could escape being condemned?
But you forgive us,
so that we should stand in awe of you.

I wait eagerly for the Lord's hel,
and in his word I trust.
I wait for the Lord
more eagerly than watchmen
wait for the dawn--
than watchmen wait for the dawn.

Israel, trust in the Lord,
because his love is constant
and he is always willing to save.
He will save his people Israel
from all their sins.

-Psalms 130
__________________________

Now I feel better.

Wala lang. Just felt something that made me want to write this out.

...h.e.l.l...w.e.e.k.

Two weeks before Christmas vacation, one week before perio --> aka HELL WEEK!

Tomorrow pa lang, super dami ng requirements. And for once, I shall try being serious, kahit for two weeks lang.

Lol. Sana naman magwork-out ung magiging serious ko, though I doubt na I'd be able to totally get rid of being a procrastinator kahit for two weeks lang. Duh. Cramming? It's a vital part of my life. Hahah. Anyway. Uh, so I really need to get serious. Pss. I just hope this works. :D

Oh, 17 days na lang, Christmas na! Yhey!

...qwertyuiop asdfghjkl zxcvbnm

Super daming requirements for tomorrow. Maglalabas lang ng stress for a while. lol.

*start*

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...

*end*

Yhey. Rar. Mag-start na nga ako.

Uh, by the way, random thought, is sir still checking blogs? Wala lang. lol. :D