...so close

~_~_~

i'd be forever reminded of the last play in pisay i was in, and probably the last in my whole life. i'm going to miss having plays. and i'd be reminded even more with the song so close.

this play has brought so many unexpected things to us. and despite the difficulties we had, we actually pulled it off well. though honestly, it wasn't the best play, i'm still proud to be part of it.

whenever i think about it, ending this high school life always makes me cry. i can't hold back the tears.

~_~_~

a few days left before graduation.

forthe past few days, i've been thinking of how my life has changed. yes, i'm being sentimental once again. but i just can't help it. every single day passing is like melting a portion of the candle that was keeping my high school life alive. how i wish i knew how to make these candles and more wax to prevent it from melting all away.

i'm definitely going to miss this school rthat gave me a lot of good and bad memories alike thoughout the four years. come to thnk of it, i've gained a variety of what high school really is - some wisdom in an overload of knowledge, strength in a pail of tears, happiness in screams of laughter, and friends in a crowd of strangers.

i wanted to cry, but i realized tears won't keep the days longer.

what i thought was the worst decision of my life four years ago turns out to be the best i ever made. choosing to enter pisay made me realize several things which i might have never thought about before.

but life intertwined with fate seems to be so complicated. it fails you one time, and then helps you at another. this failure made me see the other side of things. i've come to understand that there's so much more to life than getting A's and 1.00's in the card. i've learned to appreciate how very little success can cause so much happiness. i''ve come to know of the fun side of life, sharing them with friends, snd laughing until you start chasing your breath. i have discovered that life couldn't be as bad as i once thought it was - that life is full of othre great things than being the top of the class. i've learned to balance it all: studies and play, seriousness and fun. and as i realize all these things, i started being myself again, confident that i can face any trial that would come to me. life is hard. but life is good.

some people think of me as strong. what they don't know is that what makes me cry the most is the thought that i'll someday have to be away from the people i love. but being away doesn't mean you care about them any less. sometimes, it even makes you care about them even more.

pisay has been the scariest, most wonderful experience i ever had. if i could only defy the laws of physics and can go back in time, i wouldn't think twice to go back to high school. it's been a great four years. and it's definitely worth living.

...can't sleep

I've been wide-awake for half an hour now and I still can't go back to sleep.

Ang astig ng Detective Conan. I've watched movies 1-7 last Sunday. Wooh, movie marathon. The best ung third movie for me.

Play na mamaya, Romeo and Juliet. Baka last play ever in my life na rin ito.

Why does everything have to be the last this time?

Naisip ko lang. Bakit ganito ang buhay? Do we really have to grow up and grow past all the things that we've been used to? Mystery pa rin sa akin kung bakit kailangan mangyari lahat ito. Why is it na kung kelan at-home na ako sa isang bagay, bigla na lang kailanan mag-end un.

Okay, ang emo na naman. Being alone would really make you think of such things.

I had a lot of realizations going on in my head. Ung iba obvious, ung iba hindi ko pa rin gets hanggang ngayon. Pero that's life, you can't have everything you want, and you can't have it all at once. Siguro un din ung reason why we have to grow up. Kung titigil na lang tayo, then all our questions won't be answered. Sinagot ko rin sarili kong question.

But then, why does everything have to be the last this time nga? Well, baka naman hindi kailangan maging last ang lahat. Hindi maiiwasan ung mga last plays, last periodic exams, last class, last quiz. Pero pwede pa naman magkaroon ng iba pang meeting, outing, party, pagkikita, pag-uusap, bonding, whatevers. Maybe hindi na nga sa Pisay, pero what matters is ung people involved right? Hindi kailangan maging huli ang lahat. Siguro yan na rin ung isang reason why we have to grow past the things we have now and move on to the next level.

Everything happens for a reason. There is no coincidental meeting, and may dahilan kung bakit ikaw at sila ang mga nakilala ko.

This too shall pass. It's just a matter of time kung kailan matatapos ang mga bagay-bagay. Whether it's a happy moment or a sad one, it will all end. That is how life goes.